It's Christmas Eve. Each holiday season brings another round of identity-building discussions for Noah. I remember being so surprised that the topic came up so early. He wasn't quite 2 yet when he first asked about the trees in people's houses. We've been through so much in two years since then, but this year was all new territory. I think going to a Jewish preschool the past two years gave him the sense that the world was made up of some of us and some of them. His preschool was about 50/50 and his extended family is Jewish on one side and gentile on the other, so he probably saw the world the same way. What a rude awakening kindergarten has been, where he's the only Jewish kid in his class and probably grade level. He's pretty clear about his identity and asserts it with pride.... it's now March 2011, and this never got posted. I'll put it up, without finishing it, though I remember what I would have written about, the knock-down drag out battle over going to the Winter Sing concert for kinder choir and then seeing my sweet handsome challenging child standing on the bleachers with his puffy winter coat zipped all the way up when all the other kids were in nice dress clothes. If only I had known what was going on before getting so mad at him before that concert... ah, but that was 15 months ago!

And there goes a year and a half...

I won't even bother to try to catch up on the year and a half since I last posted. Life's busy. Who has time to record it? Poor boys without baby books. Sorry kids.

Avi just threw his lovie out of the crib. I picked it up and told him that I wasn't going to pick it up again, so he had better not toss it out again. He looked at me with that devilish twinkle in his eyes and dangled the lovie over the side of his crib. I told him again, "I wouldn't throw your lovie out because I'm not going to pick it up and you'll be sad." He grinned and tossed it. Now he's screaming. It's amazing how long it takes to learn some of these lessons about natural consequences. Seems many adults haven't figured it out.

But that's actually not why I decided to write a note tonight. He's a turkey like that multiple times a day, so that's not particularly noteworthy. What was amazing was bath time. Out of the double set of letters and numbers, 70 some floaty colorful foam symbols in the tub, he correctly found Q, A, and Y on the first try. He also found the matching letter for several others that I named. He had an H and I told him what it was and told him to find the other one and he did. Same with L. I thought that was pretty impressive for a toddler who has had a noticeable speech delay.

Now if he would only go to sleep so Cary and I could watch a movie.

In Noah news, his favorite word recently seems to be "truly." As in "I'm truly sorry," or "I truly didn't mean to." On Thanksgiving at my Aunt Norma's house, he saw the turkey carcass and said, "I feel sad for the turkey. It looks like it hurt him." Friday when my Aunt asked him in a deadpan voice if he wanted a turkey sandwich, he just giggled and looked at her like she was crazy. It cracked her up. He may not stay a vegetarian forever, but it seems like a pretty significant part of his chosen identity at this point in time.

Every day is filled with sweet moments and tear-your-hair out moments, but one of the most touching recently was when we were reading Ramona the Brave together one night. That Beverly Cleary, she's a master. We've read the first three books in the series together. I have choked up more than once as I read and understand Ramona through the new eyes of a parent. She reminds me of Noah in so many ways. Anyhow, we were reading this scene where Ramona has a meltdown and gets so mad and hurt that she throws her self onto the couch screaming and kicking until her mom comes over and remarks gently, "what are we going to do with you Ramona?" To which Ramona replies, "Love me." I had a lump in my throat and then I looked over to see Noah crying. It was the first time he had cried over a book. We talked about it for a moment, but then I tried to push the conversation too far apparently, and he said, "just keep reading, Mama." But it was a sweet moment to share with him and one I think I'll always remember.

It's teething time!  Avi's lower right front tooth is puffing up his gum line and making him quite cranky, reminiscent of his brother's experience with teething.  In fact, he appears to be cutting his first tooth at exactly the same age (to the week) as Noah would have been if he hadn't been born a month early.  Which makes sense, because teething would definitely seem to be a result of one's gestational age rather than experience.  He's also been throwing up a lot.  Not just spit up, but real throw up, enough to make me worry.  Enough to soak whatever he's wearing and my shirt and pants and the chair we're sitting in too.  It's delightful.  I don't see how that could be connected to teething, but I wonder what it's about because he doesn't otherwise seem sick. 

Noah on the other hand was sick this past week.  That child has been so healthy; I find it rather amazing that this was the first time I can really remember him being sick to his stomach.  It's a test of parenthood to be sweet and comforting while scooping up a comforter and bed sheets holding Lake Barf.  The amazing thing about Noah was that although he tossed his cookies several times, he was perfectly normal (as in his high energy self) in between.  No lethargy, no mopping, no fever.  Just play, ride bikes, run around, test limits, and then hurl again.  We had considered getting rid of that old overstuffed chair in the play/dog room.  Noah helped expedite the process the day he vomited all over it.  Apparently at 4, kids still don't have a lot of control over that bodily function.  Not surprising given the lack of experience with it, but still, if you can't make it to the sink or toilet or bowl we've had you dragging around with you, then at the very least, try to go for a hard floor, please.   Oh well, he helped us move forward on getting rid of the chair.  It was cleaned off, put out on the sidewalk where the sunshine helped mask the stench, advertised with a "free" sign, and gone by dinnertime.

Noah's dance class ended.  The one with him and the gaggle of 3 and 4 year old girls.  He liked the tap part.  Mostly he just liked being with Emma I think.  She wants to take another dance class and I know he would want to do it with her, but I don't think that class is quite right for him.  He needs to get a little bit more energy out.  That one is pretty focused and designed for dainty cooperative little girls.  I wish I could find him just a tap class through Parks and Rec, because the classes were quite a bit cheaper, but there are none offered, and I don't think we can swing for $10 a lesson classes.  Especially since he's taking piano too.  On the other hand, given that he is taking piano, I'm kind of ready for a break in classes.  We've had classes nearly every week since October.  It might be nice to have a little more down time in our schedule.   Noah's excited for Emma's birthday party tomorrow.  We've had fun this week making her a mixed CD of his favorite songs.  (It wasn't until we were in the middle of the project that I realized how funny it was that he was making his first "mixed CD" for a girl he has said he is "going to marry."  His top 23 (in no particular order):
Yellow Submarine by the Beatles
Ya Got Trouble / Seventy-Six Trombones from the Music Man
Volcano by Jimmy Buffett
Use a Word by Red Grammer
Shake Your Brain by Red Grammer
Step In Time from Mary Poppins
Chim Chim Cher-Ee from Mary Poppins
Rolling O by They Might Be Giants
Robot Parade by They Might Be Giants
The Edison Museum by They Might Be Giants
D Is For Drums by They Might Be Giants
Miracle Of Miracles from Fiddler on the Roof
The Marvelous Toy by Tom Paxton
I Have A Little Baby by Rich Glauber
Homey Bulgar/Dir Odessa/Mayim/Freylach/Sirba by The Klezmonauts
Goin' To The Zoo by Tom Paxton
Free To Be... You And Me from the same musical
Down To The River To Pray by Alison Krauss from O' Brother Where Art Thou
Cheri Bim Bam from the Oy Baby CD
Brazzle Dazzle Day from Pete's Dragon with Helen Reddy
Boy Meets Girl with Mel Brooks and Marlo Thomas from Free to Be
Big Rock Candy Mountain by Harry McClintock from O' Brother Where Art Thou
Amoeba Hop by Christine Lavin

 

But don't get too excited about the prospect of upcoming nuptials.   Although he's switched girls from Lena to Emma, he is also still interested in marrying Uncle Pete.  When I explained that he would have to find someone his age and not in his family to marry, he decided that Luke would be a good choice.  

In other Avi news, he is quite consistently pulling himself up now, mostly just on stools.  He loves them, and not until now did I realize how many we have in the house.  He'll find them in the kitchen, his and Noah's rooms, and the laundry room (the places were we spend the most time) and stand up.  He likes to show off his ability to hold on one-handed and wave with the other hand.  I know this is showing off because he grins when he's doing it.  He flashes the same smile when he kneels in the tub and holds onto the side of the tub with one hand.  One day in the kitchen he managed to stumble forward about a foot or two while scooting the stool he was leaning on forward.  He's also climbed one step of the stairs several times, most often in pursuit of the dog toys which I have tried to put out of his reach.  He can't quite get the next step and then usually falls backwards, which he finds very upsetting.  For as mobile and adventurous as he is, he gets pretty upset when he bonks.  One would think it would discourage him, but apparently his brain doesn't work that way.  I think he just watches his brother and wants to do everything he's doing.  

Avi hasn't been very interested in literary pursuits.  I know that despite his adventurous nature, Noah already liked to listen to books at this age, but until yesterday, Avi showed absolutely zero interest.  I've tried reading with him in my lap, on our backs, on our stomachs, on the bed, on the floor, etc.  It's as if I'm reading to aloud to myself.  He pays absolutely no attention to it.  He wanders away to eat toys or climb on things.  But we may have had a breakthrough.  Yesterday when reading Eric Carle's The Very Busy Spider, I noticed that he stopped and looked at me several times when I made the animal sounds.  He also likes the Grow Up book by Nina Laden, but just because of the mirror on the last page.  I have to read it quickly enough to keep him around until the last page.  So tonight I pulled him on my lap and read those two in the rocking chair, and he actually seemed to be paying attention.  (As much attention as a 7 1/2 month baby can pay to anything other than an older sibling - to whom endless attention is happily granted).   

My favorite moment of the day is usually at bedtime, when Cary is reading Noah a story, and I have finished bathing, massaging, and diapering Avi.  I then take him in to get hugs and kisses from Noah and Daddy.  The joy and love between the two boys is palpable.  If there were frustrations in my day, they seem to melt away when I see the sweet smile on Noah's face and watch him eagerly reach for his brother to hug and kiss him.  Avi often squeals and wriggles his whole body with excitement.  It makes me think of that expression "my cup runneth over;"  in those moments, life stands still and there is nothing that needs to get done or nothing else desired.    

 

2/26/08

Avi fell off the bed today. He appears to have suffered no long-term consequences, but I feel horribly, because I know better. I knew the risk, and yet I continued to let him sleep there. I always hear him instantly when he wakes up, but I was in the playroom for a minute helping Noah with paint, and I think I didn't hear him immediately. By the time I did, I went running, but was only half way up the stairs when I heard that terrifying thump. He was pretty scared, but was smiling again within 5 minutes. I don't know what I'm going to do because I can't get him to take a decent nap in his crib. It looks like it's the end of an era. I feel really guilty and thankful that he didn't get seriously hurt.

Noah continues to perplex me.  He had a meltdown this morning because he didn't want to use the lunch bag I wanted him to use.  I won't get into the details, but there was a "you hit you sit moment" and the tired "I'm your mother, you do what I say without arguing" lecture.  Then things turned around and he had a decent day.  He did well at school (despite a lunchtime meltdown because his lunch didn't have "treats" like some of the other kids - i.e. CapriSun sugar drink and cheese and cracker crap package), there were only minor infractions at the grocery store, and he went down easily for a nap without argument and slept for nearly two hours.  He had a bit of a meltdown when I wouldn't give him two treats before dinner (nevermind that he usually doesn't get any), but I successfully diverted his attention to a painting project.  He painted pretty independently for awhile.  I kept checking and admiring his work, not showing any of my stress that there was paint dripping everywhere.  Then when he was ready to clean up, I was helping him and there was a small puddle of paint on the tile floor and he was kicking a ball around and I told him clearly not to get the ball near the paint.  I told him and he just worked harder to get the ball in the paint.  I called him on it and he just maneuvered around until he got it smack dab on top of the paint.  "What's wrong with you child?  Why do you do the exact thing I've asked you not to do.  On purpose.  After we've been having a perfectly nice time!"  I so don't get it.  And no, I don't think we can blame the treat.  It was one candy orange slice.  It's not like he was jacked up on sugar.  So what's it all about?

2/25/08

Well, the fact that I’m writing this is proof that Avi survived my 36-hour absence last weekend. We weren’t sure how it was going to go, because he had yet to take more than an ounce from a bottle, but convinced he wouldn’t starve to death with his father, grandma, and brother around to take care of him, I left him without a boob for a day and a half. He survived. He took the bottle and he ate a lot of cereal, but boy was he hungry when I got home! I’m so glad I went. No one is the worse for it, and I’m better off.
Avi pulled himself up to a stand yesterday. He was playing on the laundry room floor messing around with a stepstool for the longest time. Whacking it, shaking it, sliding around it, tasting it, etc, when I looked over and he was nearly standing. He had his feet on the floor and his hands on the top of the stool and the rest of his body in the air in between. Then he toppled, but “holy cow!” I said, “You’re standing kiddo.” He wasn’t perfectly vertical, but that’s because of the height of the stool. He’s definitely crawling now. He moves fast enough that he disappears. He was playing on the kitchen floor this evening, and when I looked over, he was gone. He was making his way into the playroom/dog room (which has things unsuitable for him like dog food and small toys), so I picked him up and brought him back to the kitchen. By the time I walked back to the other side of the kitchen and turned around again, he was halfway across the threshold to the playroom again.
He certainly has a mind of his own. He inherited that from his brother apparently. God help us. He has discovered that he loves boinging the doorstop in his bedroom. He boings it until it twists off, and then he grabs it and sucks on it. Figuring that it’s not the best thing for him to be sucking on (it’s not like there’s any shortage of appropriate baby toys in the room, I propped up the large cloth playmat against the wall behind the door. Out of sight out of mind, right? He can’t have object permanence yet?!? Maybe it’s that or maybe it’s just the Scherer-Hughes-Lieberman strong willed-stubborn gene. It had been a day or two since he had last messed with the doorstop, but when I heard that distinct “boing” from the next room I came in to find him sucking on the detached doorstop having crawled across the room from where I had put him down, squeezed behind the playmat and found his favorite of favorites.
When he’s not crawling around, he is sitting up quite comfortably now. He can’t quite get into that position on his own, so he likes to be sat up, but then is happy to play with toys for long periods of time like that. Of course, he pushes the toy out of his reach and then gets frustrated that he can’t grab it anymore. Soon enough he’ll have the forward lunge and back to sit move figured out. He wants to be sitting up, but on his own he mostly just manages a sideways prop (see photo). Sort of lying on one side, holding himself up at an angle with one arm, but that makes it hard to do much else (see photo).
In other developments, Avi has learned that he can get a rise out of me if he blows raspberries while eating. He thinks it’s pretty hilarious when I say “no” with a stern voice and face. Meanwhile I’m convinced he learned these atrocious manners from his otherwise well-mannered cousin, Colin. I’m going to have to have a talk with that boy. He’s older, he should be a better role model.
Noah had a great time with Grandma Sandy here last week. When it was time for her to leave, he had a melt down and hid on the couch under a blanket sobbing great heaving sobs, saying, “I don’t want Grandma to leave.” He’s such a sensitive little guy. What a mix of stubborn, difficult, sensitive, and high feeling. Wonder where he got that from?

2/11/08

Avi is very focused on practicing sitting up in the bathtub. He does it over and over, with a look of determination. Then he falls over, looks startled, laughs and goes for it again. The bathtub seems to be the place where he really tries out his new moves. Given his pattern, I expect to see him scooting into a sitting position outside the tub within the next week or so.

Noah and I experienced a big first this past weekend. I dropped him off at piano lessons without going in. I told him I was going to do so about a block before we got to her house. I pulled up, stopped the car, got him out of his car seat, and started to walk him to the stairs. My plan had been to walk him to the bottom of the stairs and have him go the rest of the way up and in on his own, but as soon as I started to follow him, he turned around and said “I don’t need you Mama. I can do it all by myself.” I started to explain that I was just going to go part of the way, but he repeated himself emphatically, so I let him. I stood there in the alley next to the car, listening for his footsteps up the stairs. I could see that there were people in the apartment, so I knew someone would answer the door. I waited to hear the door open, and then I left. Wow. When did he get so old? He just turned 4. It wasn’t until it was all over that I realized just how significant that moment was. It’s the first time in his life that he’s ever gone in to anything on his own. He’ll be going away to college before I know it. Or at least kindergarten.

2/8/08

Last night we experienced a few moments of bliss. I even noticed it at the time and turned to Cary and told him to soak it up. He was cooking dinner. I was happily finishing the dinner prep dishes so that we could sit down to dinner with no dishes to do afterwards. Noah was playing with instruments in the music room and Avi was playing on the carpet beside him, happy to be near his super-star of a big brother. Ahhhhhh, I thought. This is it. Better take note, it may not last for long. It did though. It lasted several minutes until we brought them in for dinner. There’s hope for the future after all.

Today Noah spontaneously asked me what I thought was the best part of his day and then proceeded to tell me that it was when I got to the preschool Shabbat circle and sat by him. Enough to make a mom cry. Mind you, he never wants to sit on my lap there, always preferring the lap of a teacher. (Which works out for his friend Sammy who is always eager to plop down in my lap.) Nevertheless, given that I’m there every Friday afternoon for Shabbat circle, I was surprised and touched by his comment.

Tonight at the oneg after the Tot Shabbat service, Noah had more cookies than I’m afraid he should have, not to mention a slice of cake we shared. So when I saw him reaching for another cookie as we were leaving, I gave him a firm, “no,” complete with raised eyebrow. Much to my frustration, it didn’t stop him from reaching for it anyway. But I wasn’t prepared for his next move. With that familiar devilish twinkle in his eyes, he snatched it up as fast as lightning, licked the bottom of it, and then said, “Now it has my germs, so no one else can eat it!” But I was faster than he. I snatched it from him, saying, “but that doesn’t mean you’re going to eat it." (I had wanted another cookie myself, so I proceeded to eat it myself after he was out of sight. I'm not afraid of his germs. Heck, my lunch half the time is the uneaten food from his lunch box.) Given how wired he was when we tried to put him to bed tonight it’s a good thing he didn’t have one more cookie.

Avi’s 6 month check up was today. He’s no longer remarkable in the height and weight category. Although our bathroom scale measured him at 19 lbs a month ago, he weighed in at 17 lbs, 11 ounces today. While Dr. Feurth said that he probably hasn’t actually lost weight (any more than the normal daily variation everyone experiences), I suspect he might have due to the combination of his lack of appetite and his constant motion. Either way, he’s at the 50th percentile now, which as she pointed out, is about where we would expect him to be genetically. That’s okay, I’d rather have my kids remarkable in other areas than height or weight. The fact that he’s crawling at 6 months, and I’m pretty sure he’s beginning to say mamamamamama with some meaning some of the time is remarkable enough.