Thursday, June 30, 2011

Proud Mama

Noah has been thoroughly enjoying Peace Village Camp. I was a little concerned about the fact that Rio was joining him on the second day because I really wanted him to fully experience the camp without the influence of his best friend. It was good that he had Monday by himself, because it gave him an opportunity to get used to the camp without Rio and then we talked Tuesday morning about carrying that experience through the week.
Anyhow, Rio was sent home from camp this afternoon because he just couldn't follow directions. He was a little out of control on the walk between TBI and the church I guess. I'm sorry for his sake, but I'm so proud of Noah that he didn't get pulled off track by him. He has grown so much in the past year. I feel confident about the two of then being together in 2nd grade now. I even asked Rev. Melanie, the camp leader, to find out if Noah was having a challenging time as well, and she said he wasn't. Yeah! His kindergarten teacher, Polly, would be so proud.
We talked about it on the walk home and he said Rio "can be so annoying sometimes."

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

No girlfriends and boyfriends, just friends

At a recent birthday party for one of Avi's schoolmates, I learned that the three boys in their preschool class were all spoken for. Nina had claimed Avi as her boyfriend. Avi is surrounded by all his girls. I'm always hearing about them, especially Nina and Vera. It seems those two have been in competition for the title of Avi's girlfriend, a title I'm quite certain that the girls bestow upon themselves, rather than given out by Avi. I wondered if he knew anything about it. I casually kidded him about it this morning in anticipation of the afternoon's play date with Nina. "We need to clean up your room and the house before your play date," I said, "I don't think Nina will want you to be her boyfriend if you have a messy room."
He responded with utter seriousness in what sounded like a parrot of his teachers, "there aren't any girlfriends and boyfriend at school, just friends."

Good thing, because said wanna-be girlfriend was a holy terror at the play date this afternoon. Together the two of them kept me on my toes. One would think I'd be used to that with my boys, but she convinced Avi to test new ground!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Sleep Overs and Side-Effects

Noah had his first sleep-over with a friend last night (here). This all started because he was invited to go on a trip with their family (he doesn't know this), but we aren't quite ready to let him do that. We suggested some sleep-overs this summer would be a good start. Not to start off small, we also let them set up a tent for a campout in the backyard. Rio came over around 4:30 and they played inside and out like wild until dinner. They sort-of let Avi hang out with them. It's hard being the little brother in that scenario. Here are some notes from the evening:

5:45pm: We've just finished setting up the tent. The boys are running wild in the backyard with light sabers. One of the favorite things to do is go into the tent and then climb out through the dust door in the floor of the tent. The older two also like to shut Avi in or out, but they are getting along fairly well.
Who can even imagine what conversations will happen in this tent tonight. We've already heard the word "nuts" several times, and I'm pretty sure they weren't talking about pistachios or anything else available at a grocery store. It's challenging to know when to let go and when to intervene with different standards for behavior from different families. On one hand, there's the idea that it's our house, we go by our standards (we don't condone "nuts" or "hell" or "what the"). On the other hand, I don't want to be the cranky mom and make it unpleasant to be here when I would prefer that the boys hang out here.

7:00pm: Dinnertime. I tried nobly to get the boys to be appropriate at the table (I kept engaging Rio in polite conversation) but it was an uphill battle with all that energy. There were burps, "nut" jabs, refusals of food, and finally I had to simply send Noah away because he couldn't stop laughing hysterically. Will I ever enjoy a civil dinner with my three boys. I imagine a table of my family and their friends all having thoughtful conversation. I can handle the idea that I might not get it for 15 years, but the thought that I might never get it - or stop them from burping -or pretending to burp in Avi's case (which is even worse), sends me into an emotional spiral. Is this too much to ask for my future?

7:30pm: Getting ready for the tent. We've set them up with thermarests, two flashlights with new batteries, sleeping bags (including Great-PaPa's trail riding sleeping bag), games, toys, and books. It's all ready to go in the tent. They are playing outside for a little bit while we put the other two down for bed and then we've promised them popcorn when it's time to stay in the tent.

9:30pm: Finally in the tent. That took longer than expected! The finished the popcorn long ago without ever being in the tent. Hard to keep them in there when it's still light outside, but I won't let them play in the house when it's past bedtime in here. We've settled them in and I told them they could stay up as late as they wanted playing games, talking, reading, etc, but that they had to be in the tent now unless they needed a bathroom or emergency help. NO GETTING OUT OF THE TENT OTHERWISE.

10:00pm: Eavesdropping. I've settled with my laptop at the kitchen counter. The office just seems to far away. I can hear the plasticky clink of the connect four pieces dropping and the bubble pop sound of the Trouble game when I listen out the door occasionally.

10:45pm: Eavesdropping continued. I still hear quiet chatting out there when I open the door. I think it's the only time I've heard those two boys be quiet and calm. There's something unexpectedly precious about that. I'd give anything to know what they're talking about. It occurred to me for the first time that this is where real conversation and bonding (might) happen. Of course they could just be talking about nuts again. Who knows.

12:20am: Hungry. two intrepid "campers" just came in to use the bathroom and seeing that I was up, asked for some animal crackers and raisins, since they were hungry. I obliged. They were proud that they had stayed up to midnight. They think they are staying up all night long. Out they went again, wired and giggling.

12:35am: Monopoly? They came in again to see if they could get Monopoly. They are tired of playing Trouble and Connect Four and the batteries in the camera game are all used up and they've played with all the toys. Big meanie, I said no. No more games or toys. No, you can't get new batteries for your toy camera. You may go to sleep or have quiet conversation until you fall asleep. Response: "Aaaaaaahhhhh!" and "We're not going to fall asleep."

1:05am: Mama it's cold outside. They came in again. "Can we sleep in Noah's bed? It's cold out there." Never mind that they aren't wearing all the warm clothes that I insisted that they take out there with them. They thought I was crazy for making them have sweatshirts and sweatpants and socks when it was such a warm evening. Yes, you can sleep in Noah's bed. I offered to get another sleeping bag so Rio could sleep on the floor. No, they wanted to sleep in bed together. I asked if they wanted to sleep head to toe like Noah and Avi do sometimes. No, they both wanted to have their heads together. I gave them my most-serious mom look and said everyone around them is sleeping or going to be very soon. They MUST be quiet if they are in here.
I didn't hear a peep.

1:10am: I checked. They're sound asleep. Next question, when are those two monkeys going to wake up in the morning.

7:45am: Noah's up.

9:00am: Rio's up.

10:00-11:00am. Rio's grandpa comes to pick him up. It takes an hour to separate the toy boys and all their stuff.

11:00am: Post-party withdrawl. Noah is feeling jealous and miserable because he thinks his friend is luckier than he. He appears to get more allowance and more toys (as if anyone could have more toys than our children). We try to navigate the conversation about different families and different choices and not everything's what it seems without giving him too much information. Trust us kiddo we're thinking, you don't want to trade shoes here. No job, divorce, soon to be evicted, super young parents, a long list of challenges, that I'll avoid posting here. But we refrain from telling him things about his friend that might not be appropriate. Instead we just try to help him feel better about his jealousy. I bring up Esprit sweaters and Guess blue jeans versus trips to Hawaii. I don't think it does much. He just wants to know when we get to go to Hawaii next.

12:00 noon: We're on our way to Costco. Not surprisingly Noah falls asleep in the car.

5:00pm: Early evening naps for everyone. We let the boys watch a movie so Cary (miserable with allergies could nap) and so that maybe they would fall asleep too. No. So after the movie I enforce nap time for all of us. Ezra's down. Avi goes down (he was pretty wiped out from last night's excitement too I think), and Noah does too.

6:45pm: Noah wakes up and is a wreck. Meltdown mode. I've been prepared for this. Part of the reason I took a nap, so I could handle it with sweetness. I'm understanding and sweet and give him choices and help him not get backed into a corner. He rallies after a shower (which he initially protested violently) and ends the night very nicely and cooperatively. I'm reminded of how important it is not to get worked up in dealing with meltdowns. It helps that I was prepared for it.

And a note about Avi... The last month or so has been especially challenging (after it looked like things were getting easier for a while), but again, we've seen a shift in the last few days. Perhaps his "running away" experience Monday, made him reevaluate things. I don't know, but we've had about 4 straight good days. Not perfect, who could expect that anyhow, but good. And tonight he was so very sweet. He came downstairs around 7:00 having just woken up. He was clutching his lovely and in that whiny, stubborn wake-up phase. As I always try to do, I scooped him up and gave him a snuggle and tried to entice him with some options to help him transition out of a nap. He fussed a little bit, but was quickly lured to the barstool to have a few bites of leftover popcorn. (Whatever works, right?) He sat there noshing for a minute and then out of the blue said, "Mama, I'm sorry for being whiny when I came downstairs." WOW! I hadn't even mentioned it. I hadn't even acted annoyed with him. He figured it out all on his own. Those are the moments that make you think you really are accomplishing something!

And not to leave out Mr. Ezra... He is now climbing from ground floor to rumpus room in no time at all. He's not lightning speed like Avi was, but slow and steady gets him there just fine. (And he has only been climbing stairs for a short while.) He'll do just about anything to follow those brothers. He is starting to cruise along things a little bit and occasionally lets go of what he is holding on to and stands for a millisecond before falling. Here's a picture of him at his toy shelf. He loves to empty everything off the shelves. Most significantly however, he has continued sleeping through the night. That had to be the easiest sleep training ever! He has put himself back to sleep multiple times in the middle of the night (without me even going in there). I hear a little cry and before I can even get in to him, it has stopped. Please, please, keep this up. It is making a huge difference in my ability to cope with everything. Thank you Ezra. I don't know what I would do if I was in Nancy and J's shoes.


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Young Reader


I think he's finished eight or more chapter books since school let out last Thursday.

Even though we've implemented summer bedtime privelidges which allow him to stay up as late as he wants to read after being tucked in, he rarely lasts more than 15-20 minutes. He does all that other reading on the go in between other things during the day. I have to get after him to "PUT THE BOOK DOWN" half the time. I guess he comes by it naturally.

Yeah!

Ezra slept through the night last night! Of course he was raring to go at 6:20 this morning, which seemed unbearable when I was up past midnight, but better than waking three times in between! I wonder if it's because I'd let him cry a little bit at nap and bedtime a few times in the past few days. Not long, just a few minutes.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Yummy Sand

He probably ate a half dozen handfuls of sand before I just had to take him out of the sandbox. Every time he would grab a handful and bring it to his mouth I would push his hand away and tell him that we don't eat sand. Every time, he would laugh hysterically and reach for another handful. It was the laughing and repeated negative behavior that worried me more than the sand. He's going to be just like his brothers! God help me!

Fighting sleep

Ezra has decided to start protesting naps/bed. Great! Just what I need. He's fine in the car or stroller or if I nurse him all the way to a deep sleep, but otherwise he's screaming his head off. Must be too excites to have those big brothers - the ones I both just sent to their rooms for being overly-obnoxious - around all the time.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Where's Avi? The whole neighborhood wants to know.

Today, Avi hid in the bike trailer in the garage knowing full-well that I thought he had left the backyard unaccompanied and without permission (which he had indeed done just a few minutes earlier). Not finding him anywhere in the house or backyard, I proceeded to spend the next 20 minutes screaming his name frantically at full-panic volume and running all around the neighborhood alerting anyone who crossed my path that should they see a three year old in rainbow tye-die, he's supposed to be at 23rd and Alder. I was a mess. Then I was furious when I knew he was safe in the garage. Why did he hide? He was annoyed because I had told him that he would have to pick up all the black foam pieces that he had bitten and ripped and shredded across the back yard. I told him to stop while he was doing it, but he didn't, so I told him he would have to pick it up. That didn't appeal to him, so he thought he'd get even with me or something.

That was just the most dramatic event of the day. All the other major things pale in comparison. It was the kind of day that made me think someone's going to cart me away to the mental hospital (as if we actually have those any more in this time of budget crisis) before the summer's out.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Life with three boys means a lot of wrestling

Just an ordinary blip in time. Preceded by ballon popping and followed by wedgies.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Summer vacation

10:00am on the first day of summer vacation. Noah, who already completed a whole chapter book (stared this morning) says, "I'm bored." It's going to be a long summer I think.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Meet B.D.

We've decided that Avi's "bad dream" is actually Avi's Bad Dream. As in BD has a life and persona. It changes form, but I think it's his equivalent of an imaginary friend. BD prevents him from doing things (like going to the bathroom) and tells him to do other things (often not such good advice, as in "My Bad Dream told me too.") According to Avi, this evening BD was as big as a house, shaped and colored like a blueberry, but with wings and was going to eat everyone up. He told us this at dinner when he couldn't walk to the bathroom by himself for fear of BD.

Noah is enormous. He was having a meltdown tonight and refusing to bathe (which he really needed to do after a busy day playing and then dance lessons and then baseball practice). It occurred to me as I tried to drag him upstairs, that this is no longer an option. He is too heavy. I'm no wuss; he's gained quite a bit of weight lately. If it was dead weight it would be hard enough, but squirming, flailing, resisting weight is even harder.

Ezra made it all the way up a full flight of stairs yesterday. That boy is on the move constantly and pulling up on everything and anything. Also eating everything he can get his hands on. This is a challenge with two older boys in the house. He ate (and later pooped) a Lego head last week. We never even saw it go in. Stealthy.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Bad behavior = tired

I KNOW that Avi's bad behavior is usually explained by exhaustion, but why can I never seem to remember it in the moment when he is laughing at me after having hit me or run away from me or other such charming behavior? I can't seem to get it in my head in the moment that he's probably overly-tired and responding irrationally. I just get angry when I need to be the calm one.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Ok, let's see if I can catch up with my brothers

He's been crawling for a week. He started pulling himself up to standing s couple of days ago, and now apparently he thinks he's going to attempt stairs. Isn't there supposed to be some lag time between these developmental steps. At least a week or two? I can get nothing done anymore. There's a reason that people like to have them close together. Babies and itty-bitty Legos and allowance coins and marbles and homework and pencils don't mix. Oh well. He's intent on trying to sneak everything into his mouth and get everywhere he shouldn't be. Remember how I said I didn't trust that mellow demeanor... It was all just a matter of time, well the time came.