Tuesday, May 3, 2011

It only takes a millisecond

Ezra did a header off the changing table the night before last. It was horrifying. I felt so scared and stupid and awful. How many times have I held on to him when he's been sitting in the changing table and thought how I wouldn't dare leave him unattended in that position because he would most likely fall and then I let that exact thing happen!
I was holding on to him as I was monitoring Noah get into the shower and helping him one-handed with the curtain and such. Then when Noah decided to take a bath instead, seeing how thoroughly filthy he was, I wanted to put some bubbles in his bath. I was still within reaching distance of Ezra, but unthinkingly took my other hand to unscrew the cap off the bottle of bubbles and out of the corner of my eye I see Ezra go head first off the table and land on his head on the floor between the garbage can and toilet, like some kind of terrible human slinky summersaulting through the air and unfolding on the floor. I can't get the image out of my mind. It just keeps replaying again and again.
He didn't cry for long. I snatched him up as soon as I saw him moving his arms and legs which was instantly and took him naked into his room to nurse him. He was happy again within just a few minutes, probably less then five, but it's taken me a day to get over it. I just keep thinking about what could have happened. How he could be paralyzed or dead or brain damaged. He doesn't even have a noticeable bump. We called the advice nurse just to make sure, but there were never any signs of concern. There's still part of me that worries that there might be long term brain injury, but I guess there's nothing else I can do except make sure I'm never so stupid again.
Thank God babies are so resilient and he's fine.

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